browserslists are best used to start discourse

If you use some kind of CSS post­proces­sor with au­to­pre­fix­ing, ^{[1] Link to foot­note 1} you’ve gotta set up some­thing called a browser­slist. Autoprefixing is what au­to­mat­i­cally throws ex­tra com­pat­i­bil­ity onto your CSS scripts with­out re­quir­ing you do it by hand; it’s “prefixing” be­cause that usu­ally means throw­ing, like, -webkit- onto every­thing new and shiny. The browser­slist is what tells the au­to­pre­fixer what com­pat­i­bil­ity you need, in the form of a short, com­puter-parsable phrase. Something like last 2 versions and not dead in your list will tell your au­to­pre­fixer that it needs what­ev­er’s the last two ver­sions of known web browsers, and that web browser still has to be in de­vel­op­ment (sorry to all five IE11 users who aren’t us­ing gov­ern­ment kiosks). Simple, good cus­tomiza­tion, lets you tune things as you need for the peo­ple who visit what­ever stuff you’re mak­ing. Good, se­ri­ous tool, for well-mean­ing de­vel­op­ers!

I am here ex­clu­sively to use it for evil. Behold:

>0.001%, not dead, not chrome >0, not chromeAndroid >0

>0.001% is the most spe­cific you can go be­fore some­thing like browsers.list stops telling you that you’ve added any more browsers to your list, not dead means it can’t be Internet Explorer lev­els of be­ing in the grave, and the other two are a de­c­la­ra­tion of war. Some fun points here:

• According to browsers.list, there are still a plural num­ber of peo­ple who use Firefox ver­sion 4, a browser that was both only the most re­cent ver­sion for a tiny hand­ful of months in 2011, and on ac­count of be­ing from that same year, a browser old enough to be in high school, as a daily dri­ver. I as­sume there’s le­git­i­mate over­lap be­tween those peo­ple, and the kind of peo­ple who ran­domly look for sites on Neocities, so if you think about it, I’m adapt­ing to my po­ten­tial au­di­ence.
• My pre­fixer also prob­a­bly, uh, is­n’t go­ing to do a good job of adapt­ing, on ac­count of how many cus­tom prop­er­ties I use. It’ll minify what­ever other calcs or col­ors there are, but with how I do things, there aren’t many.
• Because this still cov­ers for every other liv­ing we­bkit browser in ex­is­tence, this does­n’t even stop -webkit pre­fixes from show­ing up every­where. Considering the whole in­tent of us­ing a browser­slist in the first place, it ac­com­plishes ab­solutely noth­ing, out­side of ba­si­cally cram­ming as many pre­fixes as there ex­ist in browsers at all.

This ex­ists for one rea­son, and one rea­son only: I get to say that, tech­ni­cally, none of this blog sup­ports Google Chrome.

I live in a world where Chrome is so overused, and the al­ter­na­tives are so unused, that peo­ple gen­uinely don’t know what Chrome does and does­n’t do, be­cause to know that, they’d have to have used a dif­fer­ent browser be­fore. I have had more than one per­son tell me that they can’t switch off of Chrome, be­cause they use Google Docs. More than one! We are so deep into a world where peo­ple know of no other desk­top browser that they just started to make up rea­sons as to why peo­ple all grav­i­tated to­wards one in par­tic­u­lar.

I hate Chrome, I hate the dumb shit they’re pulling every other week to make it harder to stay pri­vate on­line, ^{[2] Link to foot­note 2} and by set­ting this, I can ba­si­cally ex­cuse my­self from hav­ing to ever down­load that garbage to see how this blog looks on it. It does mean I’ll be los­ing all the fun new shit like text-wrap: pretty, but that’s fine, I’ll just wait for the three Firefox em­ploy­ees still left in the com­pany to im­ple­ment it, even­tu­ally, once they’re done build­ing an­other copy­right in­fringe­ment al­go­rithm or what­ever.

…Man, browsers are just cooked right now, huh.